


a good day to be alive

by hanakj



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Depression, Drabble, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Breakdown, One Shot, Paralysis, References to Depression, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Short One Shot, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Wheelchairs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-18 16:30:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21580624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanakj/pseuds/hanakj
Summary: Kageyama quits volleyball.Hinata goes to make a wish. Instead, his worst dream comes true.••••••Angst with a happy ending :o)(read the tags for warnings)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 2
Kudos: 143





	a good day to be alive

**Author's Note:**

> ive had this in my docs for years, I actually think i posted this at one point and then deleted sooo... posting again cos i actually like this

Kageyama lost interest in volleyball. No one could think it could happen, but it did. The third and second years moved to college, apparently none went into the volleyball profession. Hinata and Kageyama stayed Captains of the volleyball team. Tsukishima also lost interest. Yamaguchi never had much will to continue anyways. Karasuno’s team, which had flown with power in Kageyama’s first year of high school, returned to a fallen powerhouse. Not that they were ever a powerhouse. Something happened to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi that made them both drop out in the third year. Hinata tried to make them stay, but nothing helped. Hinata still was full of energy, trying to keep their team's spirits high. They were having trouble finding two new managers; one for this year, as Yachi had quit suddenly. One for next year, when the third years moved away. The turn up for volleyball tryouts were low was ever. 

Kageyama didn't know why Hinata was still fighting for the team. It wasn't the same anymore, the heavy scent of sweat and hard practice no longer wafted through the gym. Most members never turned up for morning practice, skipping afternoon practice at least once a week. It was pathetic.

The end of high school was coming up. Graduation. Kageyama hid behind the fantasy of playing volleyball forever, past high school. In the end, it wasn't much of a popular sport. Hard to get into teams. Hinata tried to get Kageyama to sign up for a college with him. They fought. Kageyama quit the team. Hinata told him they were no longer eligible for tournaments, with not enough players. Kageyama told him to buzz off. They fought. 

As of graduation, Kageyama didn't sign up for any colleges. Hinata and him hadn't talked in three months. He saw the redhead in most of his classes and in between hallways. No words were exchanged in three months. 

Kageyama did adore the spiker. Hinata was smaller and energetic. He had high hopes. Kageyama did actually hook up with him in their second year. They broke it off three months ago.

After graduation, Kageyama sulked in his room, his gown and cap already tossed in the garbage. His phone had two numbers in it. Hinata, and his father. His dad often encouraged him to go to college, but Kageyama ignored the request, as his dad was always on work trips (“If you have something to say, say it in real life.”). Kageyama was a mess.

His hair was getting long, almost touching his shoulders. He was disheveled and hadn't left his house since graduation (given, it was only a week). A week later, his father returned from a trip to see Kageyama passed out in the bathroom.

Thankfully, his father arrived on time to save his son. Kageyama wouldn't say anything to his father. No one else came to send flowers or chocolates, unlike when Hinata broke his wrist in second year. Kageyama wouldn't answer his father's questions. (“Why,” he would ask. “Why would you do this to us?”)

Kageyama’s arms were wrapped in bandages. His arms were shaky, making his handwriting messy. He sealed the two letters, placing one under his pillow. The other he slipped into his pocket as he slid on his shoes. 

The bridge was a place Hinata and Kageyama met a lot, when they were dating. “C’mon, let's go get meat buns!” Hinata would laugh, pulling his tall boyfriend by his hand. 

Kageyama wondered if Hinata would notice. Hinata surely would be in college by now. The letter was merely for closure, not actually to be read by Hinata. It was late at night, and no cars were passing on the bridge. Kageyama climbed on the railing of the edge, placing the letter in the “y” of the bridge. The wind whipped around his messy hair, shaking the letter slightly. It was still in place, and would stay to be.

“Wait!” Someone called out behind him. Kageyama turned his head, looking back. He was holding onto the suspensions, rocking in the wind on the fence. “What are you doi-” A familiar face stared back at him. The sparkling brown eyes Kageyama could spend hours looking at. The rosy cheeks, the small nose. The orange fluffy hair. His lips. Chapped in the cold month of December. “K-Kageyama?”

_Hinata._

_No._

_Stop._

_Leave me alone._

Kageyama said nothing, although his heart was beating wildly. “What are you doing, Kageyama?” Hinata’s voice shook slightly, not making an attempt to step forward. If he did, Kageyama was sure he would step back too, and fall. “Why are you here, Hinata?” Kageyama’s voice was cracked with pain. “I was just… I come here to wish. I was coming here to call you.” Hinata’s left hand gripped his cellphone. “What are you doing here Kageyama?” He repeated. 

_I cannot shatter him._

_I cannot live either._

Kageyama said nothing, his coat rippling in the wind. Hinata’s eyes flickered to the bandages peaking under his coat. “Kageyama, did I do this to you?”

“Of course not.” Kageyama’s voice was laced with pain and lies.

_He did do this to you._

_At the same time, it’s your fault._

_You're the one that broke it off._

Hinata attempted to step forward, and Kageyama flinched. “No! Stop!” Both of their hearts were beating wildly. Hinata froze and slowly stepped back. Kageyama’s shoulders slumped. 

“Kageyama, please – come back with me.” 

_Why should I?_

_There's nothing to live for anymore._

“I’m sorry.” Hinata said quietly, tears running down his face. Kageyama released his hold on the suspension. Hinata’s arms were wide open, out in a reach.

Kageyama fell back.

_Wait!_

_I need more time!_

_I’m sorry!_

They screamed.

••••••

**_3 years later_ **

“Kageyama. You have to take them. Daily.” Hinata chided, outside the bathroom door. 

Some days were bad. Some were good. Most of them were good these days, but Kageyama still had his bad days. 

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“No you won't, just take them.” A sigh of resignation followed by the familiar shake of a pill bottle.

“Kageyama?” Hinata’s playful voice broke into worry. The handle of the bathroom door jiggled. 

“Come out, please.” His voice begged from outside the door.

Kageyama reached over and unlocked the door, opening it up. Kageyama smiled.

Both of the boys were crying. 

Kageyama took unsteady steps forward, laughing through his tears. He was taller than Hinata for the first time in three years. Kageyama bent down and kissed Hinata.

His knees buckled and he gave out to the floor. Both Kageyama and his partner were laughing with tears streaming down their faces. Hinata helped him back into his wheelchair. 

••••••

**_1 year later_ **

“Morning,” Kageyama yawned, bending down to kiss Hinata. He ruffled his hair and sat in one of the colorful stools that were tucked under the kitchen island. “Classes?” Hinata nodded, serving the food on plates. “Yeah, I have Volleyball first thing, and then lectures the rest of the day.” Hinata served breakfast and they scarfed it down.

_Today is a good day._

Kageyama smiled. 

“What's that scary looking smile for?” 

Kageyama’s smiles weren't scary to Hinata, but he teased his boyfriend for fun.

“It's not scary! I can show you scary!” 

They laughed.

_Today is a good day to be alive._


End file.
